I try to focus on God's word written in stone n Jesus' teaching/sayings...

Sorry I don't write much, I need to be inspired to write;

I focus on two areas of the Bible 1st the Words Written in Stone By God - The Ten Commandments n the Words/Teaching(usually in red in many Bibles) of Jesus... Well what about the rest of the Bible??? I read n learn from the rest with a grain of salt (maybe a whole salt shaker) (Why???) which translation is closer to who the Bible was Written??? How Many Times has is been translated to current English??? How Many Mistakes in Translations have been mistakenly added into the Bible??? How Many Things Been Changed in These Translations because of Language Differences??? How Many Things Changed Because Someone Felt the Wording Was Wrong???

Now We have many many many versions of the Bible(just in English Alone) we have the NKJV, KJAV, NIV, ASV, ESV n many more all these version are based off of the KJV which came(somewhat) from the Catholic Bible; if we look at a Catholic Bible(the Church that has had the Christian Bible the Longest) it has Books by other men of the Bible' why doesn't the KJV have those books??? KJV came from the King James of England who wanted a Bible the Nobles (maybe also common men) to read n is Based on the Catholic version of the Bible SO Why are there Books missing n versus missing n even added(not seen in Catholic version)??? So, there is why I take the rest of the Bible with a grain of salt Too Many Errors, Human/Men's Hands have messed with it; like the saying 'if it isn't broken don't mess with it//fix it' human men are know for trying to fix stuff only to make it more messed up, or break it, or over do it... Granted Great to have the Translations in English n other languages, seeing Catholic leadership only wanted their priest to know how to read the Bible so they had control over what people knew of the Bible but Now Men/Women have tried to correct what they saw as errors in translation or tried to make it an easier read n again 'if it isn't broken...' !!!

Ok, there are scriptures that Christians have slowly skipped over, ignore, or make excuses for not doing n they have been doing this for a long long long time, Christians eat shell fish a no no in the Bible no problem we will say Jesus fulfilled Moses laws so we can eat shellfish n destroy that law of Moses but Jesus said "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets; I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill." Matthew 5:17 KJV maybe I am misspoken on that I have a few pics others have shared that makes my point that Christians Obey What They Like n Ignore What They Don't Like or Think is Outdated;

This I Why I Focus on the Words of God (written in stone) n His Son Jesus Teaching/Sayings(sometimes in Red Letter in some Bibles) n use rest of Bible as a Guide I feel that the Bible has much Good in it n I am ever learning from it but I Know Men Have Messed With It TOOOO Much to be 100% True, it has too many dirty grains of salt in it from men's hands!!!

~Rev. Giovano 'Koala' Fusco

Thinking:

Thinking:

When depression sets in you can feel hopeless n lost like lost in the vastness of space; when you see something turn all towards it like they do astronomy the longer they focus on an area the more things they find, so focus on that glimmer/hope n the longer you focus on it the clearer n brighter it becomes!!! 

I know that I have many friends that don't believe in God or an afterlife n I don't condemn them like some of others that believe in God/Afterlife;

I think they are very brave people, no not because like some believe they will burn in a hell, No I believe they are brave to go through life everyday with the many challenges n the knowledge they at any point life can end n that is it end of story, have to be strong to go out anywhere, my friends that don't have a faith in an afterlife but still go out n live are truly strong n brave, Big HUGs!!! n Thanks for Being My Friends!!!

Now almost all you know I believe in God, Jesus n the Holy Ghost/Spirit when I was in my deepest depression as a depressed drunk before my stroke I wanted to die in a way I wanted everything over I wanted nothingness turnoff the power/lights...

When I awoke after my stroke had new love of life but also a deep love of Jesus, God n the Holy Ghost/Spirit... For awhile had a fear of things falling on me not killing me but causing more limitations of my mobility but talking with a counselor she help me with that I mention it because my mobility is limited but I manage; I do not fear death I have a strong faith of an afterlife granted don't to give up on life even with my struggles...

My faith n belief of my faith that isn't something I can convince anyone of or even want to try to convince anyone of I can only live my life n be a good example of what my faith means to me granted I not perfect at it all the time but I do my best at living my faith!!!

God is 1st n I try to Love/Respect Him, I try to be Like His Son as I can, yes I focus on how I believe Jesus would want me to Live, Love others/myself n do what I can to do to help others even before me... This reminds I pay a tithe 1st Sunday of each month but if out n about I see someone that is down/out needing/wanting some change I will n have given them my last dollar or change some I have used my card to buy them snacks or soda in someways prefer getting them easy food they don't need to keep cold or cooked easy for them to carry then giving them change when I feel will be used for other desires... There are some I want to take off the street n bring them home to help up but as former drunk that went out on streets of Portland, Maine begging for change to help me buy a 40oz beer I know you can't help someone up till they hit bottom n want help up it saddening but just being a respectful of those that are down n not judgmental of them n try to build a relationship with some so when they are ready they know that there is someone willing to help them... I have an insight that many don't because of being a former drunk beggar n the fellow drunks I hanged with n girlfriends n their friends that were into drugs I know many of the lies/tricks addicts play on people to scam money for booze n drugs; I befriend these people but am very guarded around them as well...

Ok, got little side tracked:

Depression can hit the best of us n sometime life adds struggles that pile up negative stuff n depression gets us lost in the darkness of space making us feel hopeless n worthless n that is a hard thing to break free of; we need to keep looking for a glimmer then focus on that glimmer so it becomes more in focus n with time gets brighter like hope the more hope you focus on n ignore the hopelessness feeling the Hope can over shadow the negative... Granted it isn't easy I have fell into the darkness countless times but I keep looking for that glimmer n my faith is my compass to that compass!!!

I follow my faith in a real basic simple way 1st I believe in a God, His Son Jesus, The Holy Ghost/Spirit then 2nd I follow/believe in the 10 Commandments the Thirdly The Red Word in many Bible the Red Words are Jesus Talking/Teachings... That is my base of my faith n my ministry, I read the Bible but because of it being edited/handled by man know it is not prefect, I believe the Bible is a good book to live our lives with but should be used as a personal guide to my/your lives but not a book to tell others how to live their lives!!!

We can talk n share insights from the Bible never to bash each other's beliefs...

Rev. Giovano 'Koala' Fusco

HUGs!!!

WOW WOW was having some weird dreams...

WOW WOW was having some weird dreams,
started with me having a big home then my in-law grandparents visiting then my in-law grandmothers having me judging their cooking of HamHocks ok dream is wracked because 1 have no in-laws, not even married {yet} n Never had HamHocks no idea what hamhocks are) then dream kept changing size of my home from super big to a good size one for a family of 5kids me n wife n a nanny with mother apartment for mom with 2exxtra rooms 1 for her guests n 1 for live in butler/personal-aid n a house next door for staff husband-handyman wife-housekeeper n their kids n a mobile home for Mark; then dream took a roll down memory lane to a love I miss n still worry about the dream kept focusing on the good times(even remembering feeling/touches/intimacy) I had with Kristin n then dream took me to deep deep deep sadness at 1st felt like I lost something super dear to me n because dream was focusing on Kristin my mind started feeling she was gone(died) I started crying in my dreams then I even woke up n I was crying really n really balling my eyes out n nose got stuffedup I cried n cried my mouth was choked-up last time I cried this hard was when I got info that I might lose my left arm in time because of the way doctor did the implant n when it wears out... The crying went on for a long time soaking my pillow then I asked why, when, help me: 
Why was I born with brittle bones(6month old till teens years over 60 broken bones n bones are still a concern now, 
Why I did I get a learning troubles/disability making school hard n even collage a failure, 
Why I have relationship issues(as a kids I even gave kids near me money to play with me)then from years 18-34 I paid women for sex, I didn't socialize in high school like others was picked up right after school by handicapped bus, never had a high school girlfriend, never went to events like concerts (well went to 1 because I won tickets but never could afford to buy any) stayed home alot playing on my computers; didn't feel a real connection to a woman till Kristin, holding her her holding me me brushing her hair us going down the street holding hands us watching TV/Movies her leaning on me or her head in my lap me holding her hand while we watched TV so when things started going wrong or my illusion was coming apart I started drinking n drinking n drinking 5th of whiskey a day suitcases of beer a day n then even bagging for money on the street to get more money for 40oz beers; 
I don't ask why I had a stroke I know why my depression, my drinking like a fish, my smoking of cigars, me not taking my blood pressure meds n me wanting to die, I was really begging to die n nearly did with the stroke the stroke was a turning point in my life *shall add more after why, when help me...
When am I to be in Love again???
When Will I Have a Girl to Truly Love Me???
When will I have a family???
Help Me to Be Happy!!!
Yes am happy with my friends I have that care about me but but well how many of you know me really know me, knowing my fav color, TV shows, movies n etc are easy guess my fault I am not very open with myself to others (yes I share alot but my heart is locked up guess since Kristin she Hurt it bad as picture shows-the tattoo a ripped aparted heart held together with barbed wire) feeling have always been a hard thing for me to share; a couple I know n really really care about have been a dare thing to me the husband joking n budding with me when he n I are together n the Wife the HUGs She Gives Me are so great, Phil n Pam give me a taste of care/love of what I am crying for, craving n deserve!!!
Help Me God, Jesus, Holy Ghost/Spirit, Universe, Karma LIFE to Have Love, a Wife/my own family), a Better Life I have been on disability income all my life(it sux), I have mouth empty of teeth(well a few broken ones still in there), I am always struggling with Medicaid to get meds n medical equipment, doctor wants me n I do to eat better n healthier but on my income even with food stamps n my month I can't afford the healthier foods or eat things like apples, peaches I eat softer foods that are unhealthy n many are unhealthy like M&Ms String cheese etc but hey they are called comfort foods for a reason they give people like me some comfort n since I don't have any whole teeth, no real income no girlfriend/wife n I gave up booze, cigars what little comfort I get from candy/junk food that is easier to eat do eat but even eating those is full of sadness because I know it is not healthy for me but What am I to do??? I Pray, Wish n Hope for a change in my life!!!

Now Times Like this morning the depression IS So Great n My Tears still dry on my face n when Life Doesn't Seem Worth Struggling With BUT
But HOPE, No Matter if that Hope is a grain of sand surrounded by Marbles of Sadness n Depression that grain of sand can stop a mables, a little super small size amount of Hope can be that Window to Something Wonderful n if I(we) ignore it(or throw it away) I would never know what that grain of sand(window) has for me(us) n that Keep Me Hoping, Wishing n PRAYing for my future life n Better Life a Happier Life n For Being Loved/in Love!!!

ok brain is drawing close to empty so HUGs n yes I didn't forget the ' * ' I typed it is below...

Good Morning, pray/hope you are doing well/better today as for me body ok minor aches n sadness slowly going away...

HUGs to You All!!!

* to continue my stroke was a blessing it re-a-woke me to Life, it gave a better outlook at things in my life having brittle bones I wasn't abused physically(mom had a rough childhood so she could have become an abuser if I didn't have brittle bone - got a few warm butts in my young years but spanking is sometimes needed) also met many other disabled kids that had worst disabilities then I had n they loved life n helped me after stroke to deal with my current limitations, even my relationship with Kristin even as bad as it was showed me what I was missing in Life(LOVE) yes it had great moments n I hope/pray I find a woman to truly love n she loves me... Being hit by a car 4 months before my stroke was a good thing even if I had to have a metal rod put in my hip I knew I would get $$$ for being hit n before stroke planning on going to Vegas to drinking myself to death like movie 'Leaving Vegas' but my stroke stopped me n renewed my life, gave me a new set of morals, a more caring heart from always what could I get next to wanting to help n care for other also to me becoming a Reverend to Share the HUGE LOVE I Feel from Jesus that I want n Need to share that Love with others No Matter Color(I don't say race We are All Humans 1 race), Sex, Sexual Orientation, Faiths/Religions n those of No Faiths I Have the Feeling/Calling Not to Convert, Change Beliefs or Condemn/Judge Others But Am Called To Show Them They Are All Loved n Are Wonderful!!! 

Rev. Giovano - Rev. Koala

Prayers needed for 2 homeless girls/sisters!!!

Hi Everyone,

I am having trouble with my mind n heart n soul, I can't stop thinking worrying about the 2 homeless girls; I feel like I need to do something more then praying for them but what, as a recovering alcoholic I you can't help an someone till they want help!!! I really don't know these girls but seeing them in their current choice of life which in my eyes looks like they are heading for a dire life that is close to a sad end, they are in their early 20s they can so so much more ahead of them if they would just be willing to accept help to Live I would gladly give the remaining years of my life to them to change their Life to want to Live a Long Healthy Loving Life, I have lived n they have not yet really lived, how can I help these girls??? Recovering drunks/addicts have to want to change we can't force them but watching them falling deeper deeper deeper closer closer to an end is heart breaking, why are these 2 girls lives hitting so hard, why am I so worried about total strangers???

I almost feel like these 2 girls are lost daughters of mine(never had children) n I want to hug them bring them somewhere that can help them, bring off the streets away from harm, demons(perverts, evil men, substances like booze/drugs n their own inner demons n past stuff that may have lead them to the streets); could their age being at an age that would be age of my kids if I had kids in my 20s... Don't know I have a number of other homeless I talk to that I am concerned about but these 2 girls are different for some reason 1 thing they are the youngest homeless I ever met n guess seeing the condition they have set out on is sadder in my heart/soul then the older homeless I guess... I also don't know why I even feel a connection to them in a small way unknown why!!!

I truly wish I can do something to really help want to live/love life, the only thing I can think of doing for them is to pray for them n not just once but multiple times a day everyday till something positive happens for them; I know I have a number of friends that don't believe in God, Jesus n the Holy Ghost/Spirit but ask that you think positive vibes their way(or my way to add to my vibe in trying to get them help) n to my friends/family that are fellow beliviers in God, Jesus n the Holy Ghost/Spirit n power of prayer please pray for these girls, have name of the youngest got it from an officer that knows the girls but officer only remembered the youngest of the 2 girl who are sisters the younger sister's name is Ashley n she is also the one that looks the weakest(health wise):

Dear Lord I thank You for bring these girls into my circle I know I am being moved to help them but unsure what to do, as a recovering drunk I know can't help those who are not wanting willing to get help but Lord I want these girls to live a long health loving life so give me direction what to do, give the girls the desire to want help, keep them safe away from those that would hurt them n things that are harming them, dear Lord I even offer up my life to give these girls their lives back, they are your daughters n I want them to know Your Love as I know Your Love, I ask this Lord in Christ, the Savoir's name, Your Beloved Son's Name Jesus Amen!!!

HUGs!!!

I had a strange dream:

I had a strange dream:

I was still using my electric wheelchair (not the strange part of the dream) but some how I was wandering around n saw a church that looked like it wasn't being used; church like it was built in early 1900's n wasn't really handicapped accessible... I was looking around n was liking the details of the outside when a small group of people came out n we talked an I introduced myself as Rev. Giovano n told them I also go by Rev. Koala... They group started talking to each other then they asked if I would to be their new minister/reverend, I said well your church is beautiful but doesn't look accessible... They then "Hey no problem they were planning on making accessible" I was still concerned because many place that make a simple accessible ramp leave many areas still not accessible some do make a restroom accessible but I asked if I was to take them up on it what about access to offices, stage n etc??? They smiled "what ever needed we will do to make it accessible for you" now my mind was thinking what is going on here??? I said "why would you do all that for me to your church's minister, you don't even know me" They laughed, "We see you admiring the church we just purchased n were in the mist of planning refit of the church but we had no minister for it, we prayed inside just before you showed up as we finished our prayer we saw you rolling around n when you told us you were a reverend it was the answer to our prayer So, you interested???"

This was shocking to me, overwhelming n scary; I say scary because speaking to a large group like a church is scary to me, funny I want to be a motivational speaker talk about oxymoron... I must have taken them up on the offer because next part of the dream was watching the refit of the church n then me starting to meet the members of this church n their families n shaking hands, hugging, saying prayers/blessing over members but then came the time to wheel up on stage n my nerves started going wacky just then I woke up... Strange dream, yes I want to share my Love of God, Jesus n the Holy Ghost/Spirit with many people but to be a minister of a church that I don't think I'd be ever up/ready to do... Now those that are believers know God calls who He wants No Matter if they believe they call do it but if you get a calling He will give you the tools/help you need...

I do hope this was just a dream n not a future calling, I am happy to pray over/for people, visit the sick n bless them n also to share the Love I have God, Jesus n the Holy Ghost/Spirit online n inperson but I am still trying to study the Bible n to understand it because the Bible is confusing because of many many man's hands of translating it from many languages n them also editing n even now there are a super amount of English versions n Bibles based off the King James Version(NIV, NET, ASV n so on) are all incomplete just pick up a Catholic Bible(which the King James Version was based on) to see that there are other books in the Catholic Bible vs the King James so all Bibles based on the King James version are lacking books so Bible is a Great Book but is incomplete n has errors n opinions on what is the best translations(with translations there is a high % chance of mistakes herethere); even the 10 commandments if written different in the King James vs the Catholic Bible n even the Catholic Bible was translated many times so I believe the Bibles of today are good but are not perfect it might have been ages ages ages ages ages ages ago but not now n many versions of Christians have picked n chosen parts of the Bible they accept n which ones they will ignore yup Christian have chosen parts of Bible to ignore n other are willing to hate others n even hurt others over... Ok I got side tracked again so going to cut this from dream down n post on my reverend page...