wow... just thinking again...

I was just thinking about how bad I feel which is alway the case after I have got drunk... in the past I was usally yelled at or bitched at... which I than would change from being sad to mad... this time no yelling or bitching just me sitting here having to reallized I F'ed-Up... I did this,

I may have thought I was having a great time Sat but Sunday I wake up no phone and (I just looked it up) I spent $70 on my nite of so-called fun...and also $20 extra to replace the sim card in my phone(already have a backup phone no sim) and $10 to my mother... She gave me money to get her a sandwich at McD's, I did buy the sandwich from McD's but I never got to her and her change fell out of the bag her sandwich was in so I have to refund her $10 it was my stupidity that lost the money and never got her sandwich to her...

Life and to its lessons!!!

Important Info. I was stupid Sat 5-29-10. Nite and I lost my phone...

So I have had to suspend my service until I get new sim card in the mail, luckily I have another phone to use it with. So I will unabled to make n recieve call by weeks-end... If you need to get a hold of me try my email and if need be I can give you the apartment's phone number from there...

serves me right for doing a stupid thing... I have decided to start taking a med the Doc gave to me awhile ago it makes you sick if you drink booze... I was only taking it when I go out but Sat I forgot to take and this happened, So I have decided I will take it everyday with my high blood pressure meds so I never forget to take it ever again... I do like drinking but hate waking up ashamed that I drank too much (I can't have just one drink) and I seem to always mess-up some how... this time losing my phone...

So email me if you need me: oh I have an email I'll post here I do not mind the public seeing contact me here IF you don't have my main email accounts yahoo address my public email is: giofusco@gmx.com

Thanks

 

was thinking...

Put your faith into your heart and mind... and God/Karma/the Force/etc... will help from there....

Do Not put faith in anything writen in black n white... the stuff that has/will-be writen is by humans.... and Humans are imperfect!!!

stuff writen are sources to learn from n to guide us...

my opinion / self awareness :-)
 
 

Star Trekkin

title of this is Booze n Drugs well I should say Pot...

I was thinking again... shhhh I know why do I do that...

title of this is Booze n Drugs well I should say Pot...

Title needs some explaining... I never tried any drugs except pot...
I never plan or want Drugs... sh!! sometimes my Docs have to really insist I take my meds. I didn't take my High Blood Pressure meds the Doc told me I had to take because I never liked Drugs legal or not... I had to have my stroke to understand Doc prescribed meds are meant to help and are need!!! I have smoked pot before a number of times... with friends mainly at parties when it was around... just never went looking for it... so it was/is not an issue for me... also I do and am in favor of it to be legalized... I mean it is a natural growing herb... it doesnt need to be brewed or manufracured... but what ever that another issue maybe another time...

I have always been a big (fat) person likely now im the smallest I ever been since pre-teenage, and my father had heart issues n died from heart troubles so I was always concerned being big n family heart issues if I did anything worst than pot I might have a heart attect... also if at a party if drugs are bought out to share I left ASAP Y U ask... well if Cops come n there are drugs there... EVERYONE is going to jail until things are figured out... pot was/is a so-so issue n booze is legal...

ok, back to my thinkings...

As a teenager(18) I drank a bit, went to some parties and smoke a few joints, but never drove drunk or buzzed it was a strick personal rule of mine!!! I loved Jack Daniels n Beer... I handled my drinking back than pretty well... I got tanked a few times!!! built a few beer walls :-D I could even buy a six pack of beer put it in my refrig have a few and two weeks later still have the other beers still in the refrig... but DEc 2001 I had my stomach surgery (I good thing, I was over 350lbs) and in 2002 I start hanging out with a girl that wasn't good or meant to be with but I was stupid n she was very good looking n 15years younger the me (she was 20)... well too many issues to go into here I started drinking more n more... I didn't understand at the time because of my surgery the booze went to my system like 4-5 times faster than it did before... I felt I needed to get away from girl and try to change things before I became a full blown drunk so left to go Job Corps (for 6months). I did well there meat some great people n made friends... but after I left and came home I couldn't find work n fell into a deep depression... and started drinking again and super heavy... I became a Drunk!!! I do not remember the year 2006 and not from my stroke I drank so much in 2006 it was draanked away I was that gone... I was ready for death I didn't care anymore... Than something happed... I joke that God took a baseball bat to my head... I had the stroke in 2008 n luckly woke me up to wanting to stay alive n change things in my life... I have had a few falls off the wagon but hey never claimed to be perfect...

So what is this not about??? good question... I guess its to air things out let people now were I coming from n going(were ever it may lead)... I guess to also let people know were I stand/sit :-) on the issues of booze/drugs/pot :-)

Well thanks for reading!!!

HUGs
 

A note to some very special friends...

I was talking to my conselor (Mary - LCSW) about my experinces with: friends and relationships...

I told about how I didn't really get to experance High School right because of issues some I didn't do right and some I had no control over... When I ever went to school from 1st grade to basically 12th grade I was dropped off at school when it started and picked up right after school... so I really didn't get to do the normal after school programs... also didn't help I wasn't abled to go to a normal school until 8th grade... because mom was told I had to go to a school for the disabled (that didn't teach kids correctly)... When Mom realised I wasn't learning but I did have a functioning brain (wait what Koala had a brain that worked, YUP lol) she fought to get me into a normal school... I hard a harder time but did catch up in my education but my social activity was still limited for satey reason... So I had a hard time meeting and making friends... I did make some back then and still friends with one aka Patrick Foss (met in a galaxy far far far away n when we both had hair LOL) I had a fellow High School friend who I lost contact with named Jim but also though Jim I met a cool guy named Mike Henigan... than because of weight and the pattern I got use too I really didn't socialize much... I than had the stomach surgery n lost over 160lbs felt great but messed up I fell for a girl and than drinking became a an issue...

Well I decided to do move on I went to a cool place Job Corps... (June 05 - Dec 05) I learned alot of things, I learned to socialize with people, I learned better habits for myself n the home... and I met alot of great people aka friends that I'm very happy to still call friends JoAnna, Kristina, Jennifer, Goon I made a number of others that saw past an old fart attending Job Corps to the real me...

I mean it was an issue a 37 year old amoung 16-24 year olds I wish I found/went to Job Corps back after High School instead of trying college which I wasn't ready for n well thats another issue...

So to my Job Corps Friends now Just Friends I thank You so so much I love you all!!!

Cannonball Run Outtakes

Canon Ball Run 1

Pepsi Commercial With Amr Diab Beyonce Pink Britney Spears http://cosmol...

Apollo 440 - Stop The Rock

some good news came in from the Scooter Store...

They informed me Amerigroup has decided to just get another chair...
So good news I can start fresh with a new powered wheel chair...
they will be able to get me a new chair I won't need(shouldn't) any repairs on the new chair for a long while, but batteries will still need to be replaced every year!!!
now just need to wait on the Scooter Store to have there other department to call and go over stuff with me... like my weight, messurements, and requiriments... if we can get a lighter chair than my current one mom can get one of those wheelchair ramp/lifts that hooks on the back of a car (like on a hitch) and than be able to go to stuff like conventions n doctors that are not in Bradenton or near the bus route...
Now I have to Wait for  the Scooter Store etc... AI hate waiting but hey its still good new...

I needed some seeing my FaceBook account is still disabled and FaceBook has not replied to me yet!!!

I now have a MySpace page...

Koala on MySpace


I feel like I'm going off the deep end...

My FaceBook account??? WTF???

I was on FaceBook tonite and was about to log-out when I decided to just refresh and see if there were any new post... my browser said I needed to log-in... no biggy that happens sometimes...
WTF!!! FaceBook system says account disabled!!!
WTF
Why???
I live on FaceBook (I know I need a life) but whats going on???
I do not post anything inappropriate...
I am lost...
what to do???
I sent a email to FaceBook... no answer about why, what to do, how to resble my account???
If anyone that reads this has a FaceBook access/account maybe you can ask them whats up???
Thanks!!!

Life is a Lemon (Intimate & Interactive)