Hello everyone I want to share a little info about addictions, I am a ever recovering alcoholic, I have times I really want a drink n even something in me says 'oh come on just one drink no one will know' but that is false I will know, God will know n really I can't really just have one drink, when I have a drink the warming feeling the booze gives me is so warm n gives a feeling that is hard to describe kind of like coming in from the cold having a blanket to wrap around you n a hot cup coco warming your insides n relaxing... The feeling doesn't last long so need to keep having more to keep that feeling but more U drink you lose so much abilities like yourself control, your reason, but once your drunk you lose the care about almost any thing accept for the next drink...
My addiction is/was only booze but dating two girls that had addictions to both drugs n booze I saw the same effects of their addictions to my addiction to booze but also saw these girls doing things to get money to buy booze or drugs that wasn't healthy or safe n people say well that would never happen to me, my family members sorry but once an addiction has a hold on a person that person will do things they never thought they would ever do...
When I was younger I drank beer here n there no biggy n swore I would Never Ever Drink n Drive n my 20's to my mid 30's I kept to my word I didn't drink n drive I waited an hour per drink I had before I drove or called for a ride home... Once I began being very depressed I started drinking heavily n in my later 30's I became a drunk started even selling stuff at my apartment so I could buy more booze... I think the only thing that prevented me from doing drugs that my ex-GF/Wife were willing to share with me was I was afraid of 1 it being illegal n booze was legal n easy to get when I had money n 2 since my dad died of heart troubles n my half brother also had a heart attack a long while ago n seeing I knew my weight put stress on my heart already n knew drugs would cause so much stress on the heart it most likely would kill me... 3 I like the taste of booze, how my GF would snort their drugs luckily I never saw them shoot up the drugs with a needle but had a former friend (brother of ex-GF) shoot up in my bathroom which after I found out he did I kicked him out of my apartment...
Some people that are alcoholic don't think they should be in the same group as drug addicts but booze is just as dangerous as other drugs the only difference is yes it is legal to buy booze n drugs are illegal but some drug addicts start doing drugs legally like being prescribed pain killers n start taking them more often then the doctor told them to do then trying to get something stronger n so on... The body is weird because booze n drugs start to slowly losing the feelings they had before so to keep the feelings we do more n more n pass out if lucky some die...
I see no difference between an alcoholic or a drug addict we are killing ourselves for a feeling like a calming warmth, a rush of energy, some feel like they are in a whole new world...
Those of us that have addiction always say 'You don't understand my problems...' Which is kind of true, the underlining issue that might have help start us being addicted to booze/drugs is different from person to person we don't know the whole story of each addict, me was depression, n a new stomach surgery that started me addiction to booze n I think depression is most likely the biggest issue that drinks many to booze or drugs some cause by abuse, loneliness, n etc...
So when U see a drunk, an addict Do Not Judge them because U Do Not Have the Right to Judge them U don't understand the things that got them to where they are...
I learned I Can Not Rescue anyone from their addictions, they need to want to be help n then the only U/I can do is help them get the trained help they need...
You n I can be there to give them strength to not fall back into their addiction, by having a coffee with them n listen to them or lend a shoulder to cry on or if they are in any danger of relapse we can try to get them professional help but being friend is the best thing... Some times being a friend to a recovering addict can be hard because U might have no clue what to do which is ok U are not prefect know when to lend that shoulder to cry on but know when to tell your friend to get help n also know when U need to walk away, it is a hard thing to do if U really care but some times it is the only thing U can do or you may get hurt by the addict...
I am not the drunk I was but I still struggle with the issue of booze, when I see a drink on TV being poured I can kind of taste it n feel a little bit of the warmth of drinking n parts of me thinks about drinking but luckily my stroke n church helped me find other things to think about which helps me stay sober I have fallen n have drank a number of times but over the last 5 or so years have done very well staying sober with a few relapses so I know I will always struggle with it n I have to stay focused on being sober n positive...
I share this so others know they are not alone, n to let those that don't understand addiction n think addicts are bums n so on that booze n drug addicts have a story/cause that became out of control so don't be quick to judge a drunk/addict because it could happen to someone close to you or could happen to you which I hope never happens...
Thanks for reading n hope this helps someone...
Former Drunk ever recovering alcoholic,
Giovano 'Koala' Fusco Jr. 1/7/2015
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