there are two things on my mind, heart n soul have been wrestling with lately:

there are two things on my mind, heart n soul have been wrestling with lately:
1st } I have been thinking, dreaming about doing more at Bayside West Bradenton Campus but I have told them I am willing to do most anything except working with kids n being in a leadership job: kids just are not in my patients of dealing with, rather put them all in a pit filled with ball, give them Mountain Dew soda n sugar cubes then return to their parents... ok see that is a very bad idea... :-D
Being a leader I said I could do temporary but don't want to do full time because didn't think my mobility will allow me to be reliable at it...
Now thinking about it my pains in my back bones have disappeared still have minor issues with muscles n a couple other things but doesn't effect me as much as my back bones use to so maybe I am being lead to remove that restriction I placed on myself...

the other thing I have been wrestling with is finding a GirlFriend...
Well I had a deep crush on a girls before my stroke n that was very destructive on me n I drank heavily over my depression was so bad I wanted to die... I still held on to her picture in small clear case around my neck but over 2 years ago during a prayer meeting I ripped up her picture n threw it away... I then said I will devote myself to learn more about my n others faith n if a new girl comes around interested in me great I will wait for her to come into my life n hope it is someone local but I have meet number of single women at church but haven't seen any of them are interested in me other than a fellow church member n as a friend so I have not tried to elevate the friendship mainly because it is hard to ask a lady out when U have no money for a date So, I basically felt I will leave it in Gods hands if he wants me to connect with a woman he will reveal her to me n help me have a way to date her... Well that sounds good n has been giving peace of mind n heart when things are ready it will happen But; my heart n mind have started thinking about my old GF n I try to switch my thinking n dreaming to something else because that was a very destructive relationship n the baggage she has would fill a jumbo jet plane so move on Koala... The things comes to my mind I have change so much n for the good since my stroke So, maybe she has changed as well, but she lives in Maine I moved away from Maine 1) to get away from snow n 2) to be away from her... I don't want to really risk trying to be with her, she showed me n gave the signs of love I never had from anyone else before I even purchase an engagement ring at one point for her which she did not except... She has been popping up in my thoughts n dreams n it concerns me, because I do not need to risk a relationship with her because it is not only her I would be dealing with but her mother n her issues, her brother that has many many issues, n her mother's perverted boyfriend that molested my ex-GF from age 6-14years of age so tooooooo much baggage n good reason to move 1800miles away from it...
So that is what is tossing around in my head lately, comments are ok n any member/leaders/pastors from Bayside Community Church are encouraged to chime in on this thanks!!!