I wroke a letter to a cool pen/net-pal here is part of the letter I wrote about me...
I had a super bad case of depression before my stroke...
I was a super drinker waiting to die (I didnt want to my self but was hoping for it) I was hoping to die drinking and came close a few times...
LUCKILY I had a stroke (yes it was lucky)
Why you ask? 1: I live though it (Docs didn't think I would)!!!
2: it re-awaken me to wanting to live!!!
3: it opened my eyes to the world/life and not to take like for grante again...
4: helped me with dealing with Bull sh!t... life I learned is too short to worry about bull... so why should I raise my blood preasure over bull and risk nother stroke... I will just ingore bull now... :-)
5: it also helped me learn to deal with mentally challeneged better seeing my wires have gotten fused and scramble since the stroke... I use to have a had time dealing with the mentaly challenged when I was young I went to a school just for the handicapped and they treated every as mentaly challenged and then a fellow friend in a wheel chair got pushed down some stair by a mentally challenged fellow student... So I grew up scared of them... and I didn't want people treating me like I was a kid forever... So after me stroke I learned so much more about all people with mental challenges and I am know try to teach my mother to better understand them...
So I think even though I have lost alot abilities I learned some very in-riching info from the stroke...
I still suffer from depression I see a counsellor every 2 weeks to talk about stuff...
My main concerns are my abilities, fears of getting hurt, death, loneliness etc...
But I try to be cheerful, crazy, funny etc instead of being sour about stuff (I wish my mom would try that shes getting to be a grumpy old lady like you see in movies)... I'm worried about her, I try to talk to about it but her bark is worst than a dogs bite(no kidding)... I'm also worried about her grumpiness because its starting to affected the members in the apartment(me, our fellow house-mate Mark, and even the dogs get scared)
Ok enough downer stuff...
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